I woke up at 5 AM on the morning of Friday 24 June to find my world had changed in a way that I didn’t want, wasn’t expecting, and, in my opinion, then and now, for the worse.

The UK had voted to leave the EU!

When I went to bed it all looked good – the Remain camp were expected to win, easily; Nigel Farage had already admitted he felt the result would go against him.

All was well in my world. I had no problem getting to sleep.

But them I woke up early and picked up my phone to confirm my expectations…..

I couldn’t believe it.

There was no way I could get back to sleep after the bombshell that had just been delivered. Thoughts ran through my head. I started to worry what this meant for my family, my country and for Europe. In fact, it got so bad that around 7 AM I had to wake up my wife because I needed to share the news with someone. She was equally horrified – and then she couldn’t get back to sleep either.

We got up at 8 AM in silence – both of us sad and upset, starting to grieve for what we felt we’d lost.

The days since the result have been full of mixed emotions.

Some comedian once defined ‘mixed emotions’ as the feelings you experience as you “watch your mother-in-law drive your brand new car over a cliff”. For me, at times, it has felt like my country, and possibly Europe as well, has been driven over that very same cliff by people who have a very different world view from me.

Mixed emotions indeed.

Do I think those people who voted for Brexit are stupid, racist or xenophobic?

No. That has never been my thought.

My thought has not been about them – my anger and grief are not directed at them.

As a Jesus follower, a Christian if you like, my overriding concern is that Brexit will make things worse for the poor and dispossessed in my country. That justice for them is now further away than before the Referendum. That rather than being a poke in the eye of the establishment, a ham-stringing of the elite, it will be the opposite. That things will become more polarised; that the pay gap will get wider not narrower; that the rich will end up getting richer off the backs of the poor and marginalised in our society.

That politics will swing to the right.

This has made me angry. Not angry at those who voted to leave the EU, but angry at the probable injustice of the result. Angry at the politicians who lied and schemed to get the result they wanted. Angry at the hate and violence that has already been unleashed against immigrants and people from other nations who have come to the UK to work and create a better life for their families.

I am angry at the fear that has driven people to reject the other in our midst, to ‘lift up the draw bridge’, to ‘think first of our own’.

To blame the EU for everything that is wrong in our society is disingenuous at best. The reason the poor are getting poorer, that jobs are more difficult to come by, that the NHS is failing, is not because of the EU, it is a direct result of the ideological choices made by our recent governments.

Has being part of the EU made the situation in the UK worse?  Possibly, in some ways, but in other ways it has held back the worse excesses of the ideological choices that have been made.

But now, with Brexit almost certainly becoming a reality, we might have opened Pandora’s box, started on a road that will make the current situation for the poor much worse – because that will be the political will of those who are in government as we negotiate to leave the EU family.

Should Christians be involved in politics? That is a decision for each individual to make, but we all as Christians must be aware of the effect of political choices that are made on our behalf.

Politics in its widest sense is about people; about how we interact as a society as we live together. As believers and followers of Jesus, our desire for and vision of the Kingdom of God here and now must shape and influence our ‘politic’, how we act towards each other, how we influence and enable the culture around us to be one that glorifies the One that we worship and claim to follow.

I don’t understand why any Christian would vote to leave the EU in the current political climate – because, for me, Brexit, at this time, stands in opposition to what I believe are Kingdom goals.

Others will disagree. I am fine with that. We all need to pray and then follow the lead of our conviction, animated and enlivened by the Spirit working in and through us.

What I don’t appreciate is when some who disagree with my position claim that somehow I am not following the will of God because I wanted the UK to remain in the EU. That, somehow, I am disconnected from God because I am angry at what I feel is injustice, or because they think I am a middle class turncoat who voted with the Establishment, whatever that is, in order to maintain the status quo.

That somehow my vote was in opposition to the work of the Gospel because I believe in open borders, in digging wells and building bridges rather than erecting walls.

That the votes of the 48% who wanted to stay in the EU mean nothing and have no value.

I am angry, but my anger will subside, because anger is a part of the cycle of grief.

I am grieving for something I know we will now have to lose – and many of the people I know who voted Remain are grieving with me.

What we need is some space to grieve.

What we don’t need is mockery, self righteous comments or to be patronised with calls for ‘unity’ from fellow believers who voted for Brexit.

Please don’t get upset with me because I am taking time to ‘get over it’.

I need to be allowed to come to terms with how my world has changed as a result of the Referendum. I need to be allowed to exhaust my democratic right to try and reverse the Brexit decision – even though I know it can’t be changed.

But I will be fine – all will be good again in my world. I am by nature a positive and optimistic person.

By the way, thanks for asking how I am, listening to how I feel, trying to understand where I am coming from by looking at the situation through my eyes – and if you haven’t done that yet, then at least try, because it will make the whole process easier for all of us.

In finishing this post I want to quote from an article that was posted by a friend on my Facebook news feed – it is by David Robertson, from his ‘theweeflea’ blog.

I disagree with so much of what he wrote in his assessment of ‘What Brexit tells us about the Church in the UK‘.

We come from different places in our Christian journey, we have different world views – not that I think mine is better or worse – it is just different.

Some of his comments I found patronising and self-righteous, some of his generalisations a bit broad and his stereotyping a bit strong, but, for me, his final paragraphs are spot on and sum up where we all should be a Jesus followers in a post-Brexit world:

“The Church of Christ is still here and still being salt and light. The Archbishops of Canterbury and York said, “As citizens of the United Kingdom, whatever our views during the referendum campaign, we must now unite in a common task to build a generous and forward looking country, contribution to human flourishing around the world.”

What we need to ask is how that comes about? If what the Bible says is true…then human being are ‘dead in sins and trespasses’. Not mildly sick. Not a little confused. Not falling a little short of our true potential. We don’t just need to Remain with the status quo, or to Leave a particular political system. We need to be made alive. We need new birth. We need a new beginning. We need renewal, revival and reformation.

I thank the Lord that all over the country there are churches where ordinary pastors are proclaiming faithfully what the Bible says, not changing their sermons to suit the political circumstances; where ordinary Christians are faithfully seeking to serve and minister Christ to the poor, hurting and hungry; and where people from many nations, languages, classes, genders and ages are worshipping together as the Body of Christ. We are not the spiritual wings of the Convertative/ Liberal/ Labour/ Nationalist parties. We are the Church of Jesus Christ, his body, his family, his bride, the pillar and foundation of the truth. Let us be!”

…..and some of us in The Church of Christ voted to Remain.

Just give us time and space and we will be fine.